Cell phone addiction, creepy admirer
02.19.07
This update is way overdue. Some of you have been waiting for advice for AGES. One of you has probably already been crushed to death by the weight of ten thousand cell phones; another one of you has probably already lost her job offer and/or been assaulted by a creepy boy. And it's all my fault.
What can I say? I care about myself more than I care about your well-being. Get used to it.
Derrick writes:
dear blaze, i think i'm addicted to cell phones. is there a cure for this, or am i pretty much screwed?
In order to answer this question as thoroughly as possible, I took the liberty of rooting around through your diary entries in search of cell phone talk.
And boy did I find it.
I don't know how many cell phones you currently own, but it's actually possible that calculators can't count that high.
Here's some empirical proof of your addiction. I found one entry entitled "On females and cellphones". Sure enough, the first part of the entry was all about girls, and the second part was all about phones. I performed a quick word count to see which topic you spent more time on. Females: 968 words. Phones: 1,879 words. Oh, and? The transitional sentence between the two parts: "But enough about women, I want to talk about the true love of my life, which is cellphone technology."
I think it's safe to say that you have an addiction.
As for a cure? I think you're past the point of no return. Face it: you prefer cellphones to women. WOMEN. You are no longer human. Sorry!
The next question comes from the adorable Anthronut:
Dear Blaze,I have in the recent past sent an email to the guy that I cheated on my current boyfriend with, telling him that because I'm trying very hard to fix things with BF that I cannot keep talking to him, and that I wish him well, but he that he doesn't understand that it's not acceptable to text/call all the time. He has failed to respect my asking him not to talk to me. The other day I was offered a job at the kennel that Cheater boy works at (and I used to). He heard about it and sent me a text asking how I liked my bagels...I told him that his attempts at friendship are unwelcome and that I will work with him civily as a co-worker as necessary. He of course flipped out and said all sorts of mean things. Now, I haven't heard back from the people who wanted to hire me and I'm worried that Cheater boy has told them about the "attempts at friendship are unwelcome" whilst leaving out that I requested him not to talk to me as he has boundry issues. Was I out of line in telling him this after his bagel message? Should I be worried that no one's called me back after saying they'd talk with Cheater Boy? Thank you. You are totally awesome.
Sincerely,
So angry I could take a steak knife to someone's eye
First of all, if your potential boss would take Cheater boy's whiney little "Waaahhh she doesn't wanna be my friend" to heart and use THAT as a reason not to hire you, they're probably not the kind of people you want to be working for anyway. Because they're probably finnicky, gossipy jerks.
That said, I REALLY don't think any legitimate employer would let some kid's feelings influence their decision to hire you. If you deserve the job, you deserve the job. Fair and square. But you've probably heard back from them by now anyway, soooo I'll move on.
Second: you did exactly the right thing in telling Cheater boy off. What would Current Boyfriend have done if he had seen Cheater boy's text message? I suppose he might have responded, "Anthronut usually likes her bagels with smoked salmon, cream cheese, and onions -- lightly toasted -- thank you for asking", but CHANCES ARE he would have been a little less receptive to the kid's potentially innocent advances.
While a duel between Current Boyfriend and Cheater Boy might be entertaining to watch, it would probably not end well. So you're better off making your feelings clear to Cheater Boy, even if it means hurting HIS feelings. The kid needs to grow up. End of story.
