About Ask Blaze
2007-02-07
Howdy, Internet.
Let's get a few things straight.
1) I give the advice. You heed the advice.
That's the way it works. It's called "Ask Blaze", not "Ask Blaze and then get offended when you don't like her advice." If you don't like my advice, try asking Barney or Mr. Rogers. They're usually pretty sweet and nice. Got it? Good.
2) I am sweet and nice.
Really, I am. But you won't see much tender-heartedness here. "Ask Blaze" will probably sound pretty cynical and angry most of the time. There are two main reasons for this. First of all, a lot of people do dumb things. When people do dumb things, I get angry. I need an outlet for that anger. So in part I will be using "Ask Blaze" to give unsolicited advice to people who do dumb things. Second of all, if you're actually asking me for advice, you've probably thought long and hard about your problem without coming up with a solution for it. Which means your situation probably sucks. Sucky situations make me angry.
3) I give all kinds of advice.
I have almost twenty-one years of experience in this field. When I was born, my mother said, "Holy shit, you look like an alien. What am I going to do with you?" I replied, "You're going to feed me and clean up after me for the next eighteen years. GET CRACKING, WOMAN." Needless to say, she heeded my advice. As should you all (see #1 above).
Relationship advice. Sex advice. Pet care advice. Homicide advice. Roommate advice. Hygiene advice. You name it, I've probably heard of it. And if I haven't, I'll google it.
4) There's a story behind Ask Blaze.
Actually, there really isn't much of a story. I had fun writing some imaginary advice in a diary entry (you can read it here) and thought it might be fun to do more regularly.
5) Credit where credit is due.
I didn't design this page entirely. Originally, it looked like this. I moved some things around, changed the background, and added an exploding dog image. Speaking of which, how awesome is the image? One guy is using a wrench to fix all the crazy shit inside the other guy's head. Pretty funny, if you ask me. I also have to give props to diaryland for helping me waste my entire day. Thanks a lot, Diaryland.
6) Ask me for advice.
Don't make me beg.
Leave a note, post a comment on an individual entry (which gives you the option of being anonymous), or email me at noworries121@yahoo.com.
If you're a hot college boy, ask for my number. (Jokes, jokes.)
Thank you, and goodnight.
